Listings For April 5: A giant case of sausages

Overhaulin': A man who nearly lost his leg in a work accident has his 1970 Monte Carlo overhauled.

The Big Bang Theory: Sheldon is humiliated on National Public Radio. (But who would ever know?)

Rules of Engagement: Unbeknownst to Jeff, Audrey lies to her homely friend Liz that she is on Jeff's list of woman he would sleep with if Audrey were not around.

Venom 911: A gardener receives a potentially deadly bite from a pygmy rattler, requiring an injection of antivenom. (Love those unpredictable plot twists!)

iCarly: Carly loses her URL to Nevel, who's willing to give it back to her---in exchange for a kiss.

Seinfeld: Kramer uses butter for shaving--and more. (Please, no more!)

Your Drivel of the Day

Everybody Hates Chris: Julius buys a giant case of sausages and forces the family to eat sausage during every single meal, but Tonya’s insistence against the new meal plan causes some tension.

Sunday, April 4: Where Choking is an Art Form

My local TV listings magazine, StarWeek, recently restored its detailed listings in an effort to lure newspaper subscribers into paying 50 cents a week more for a better TV magazine.

With dull and deplorable listings like these, they may be in trouble...

America's Funniest Home Videos: A man pulls a prank on his girlfriend; videos from Kentucky.

Minute To Win It: A firefighter must put a lampshade on his head with a fishing rod while blindfolded.

Gene Simmons Family Jewels: Gene surprises Shannon with a little piece of Canada.

Your Kid Ate What? A 1-year-old girl gets a sticker lodged in her throat; a boy, 8, chokes on a whistle.

Look-a-Like: A kindergarten teacher is transformed into a dancing vixen.

Fawlty Towers: Hearing-impaired guest is pest.

Friends: An exchange between Ross and Rachel.

The TV Drivel Listing of the day, awarded for its awe-inspiring refusal to say nothing of interest:

Stargate Atlantis: An ancient weapon.

Welcome to TV Drivel!

Welcome to TV Drivel, where we share the most boring, banal or unintentionally hilarious program descriptions from your local TV listings publication.

Visit this blog often to laugh at the drivel that TV turns out, wonder at the mentality of the people who produce these shows, and remind yourself why you now spend more time surfing the Net than watching TV.

Feel free to send in your favourite program listings! We'll publish the best and give you credit (if you want it).

And now.. On With the Show!

Your host is Rick Spence, who in early 2010 realized he now spends more time reading the TV listings (in hopes of finding something worth watching) than actually watching TV!